Spring Forward
AKA - Out of Hibernation AKA - Returning to America
I’ve been back in the U.S. for a good 2.5 months now and my goodness, a lot has happened since arriving on U.S. soil! For starters, a global pandemic broke out and that was on the heels of a rumored start of WW3, which had been brewing weeks leading up to our return to the U.S.
In this time of transition, I call it winter hibernation, I’ve gotten re-acquainted with the US. See, in the last five years of living in Europe and the Middle East, my family and I have been back to the U.S. only 4 times (once for the New Year, again to see off my sister in the military, another time for my college reunion, and one last time for my sister-in-laws wedding). When we moved to Bahrain, Chris and I agreed that the trip back to the U.S. was a 14hour monster and that we’d take advantage of shorter trips in those two years. Then, Chris was selected for an assignment in Spain and we extended our overseas experience by another 3 years, for a total of 5 years abroad. But each time I returned to the U.S. I didn’t really miss a beat. Maybe it was because I knew it was a temporary visit and, as a former military kid, I’m used to adapting and cultural code switching. Maybe it was because I was always back in a familiar setting, like with family or close friends and not in the middle of “nowhere.” Either way, I didn’t feel out of sorts with my visits.
This relocation to the U.S. on the other hand, has been like rice pudding. Somewhat smooth but with a few noticeable lumps. For starters, we bounced around to three different addresses in our first full month in-country. My parents graciously hosted us for our first week back and gave Lavender a “full” Christmas experience with the Christmas tree, lights, ornaments and gifts. Then, we moved into temporary lodging on the military base where Chris is assigned. That was a rough experience because the hotel didn’t have cribs or pack and plays and Chris had to sleep on the couch while I slept with my olympic gymnast of a daughter. Oh, and did I mention she was teething and we were all still getting poor sleep? After minor trial and error with house hunting, we found and moved into our current place in a quiet and established community. We move so much that I’m compelled to share some of our collective house hunting experiences and tips to date, so I’ll highlight them, including this latest one, in a future post.
Since moving into our current home, I’ve been busy getting my house in order. We received five different shipments of belongings over the course of one month. Our household goods and express shipments comprised the bulk of our personal belongings and were already in the US when we arrived (go figure). So two days after signing our lease, we got busy unpacking and sifting through a lot of stuff. Then, a few weeks later, our beloved wine shipment arrived. Shortly after that, our car arrived, and we had to go to Norfolk to pick it up. Last, but not least, our final shipment included all the belongings we had in storage since 2014, right before we moved to Bahrain. I’m still not done sorting through it all and since we haven’t seen that stuff in 5 years, I’m tempted to have a yard sale or donate it all.
But chile! I’s tired nigh!
So, I’ve been busy and while hibernating is probably not the most accurate term since I haven’t been resting I have been spending most of my time inside of my “cave”, trying to “settle my affairs,” and make this house a home. IN the midst of all of that, I’ve also been trying to figure out life back in the U.S.
We live in North Carolina now, but in a pretty small part of the states with farms, rivers and beaches an hour’s drive away. We’re also in a predominantly older community. I can appreciate that and I even told people that I was grateful to be moving to a smaller and quieter location with a slower pace of life than the larger military stations or cities. Moving is already taxing and I knew that after 5 years of living out of the country, I would need space and time to figure it out; the larger and busier cities wouldn’t offer that or I’d be too tempted to “jump right in and do something.”
I also wanted to commit to saving money and this small town with little to do and splurge on makes that possible. While I’m grateful we didn’t run up any debt or take unbudgeted trips, we traveled a lot and living overseas was expensive. First, there was Bahrain, where 1 of their Bahraini Dinars was almost equal to 3 of our US dollars. So that 10BD shirt was actually 30dollars! Then, there was all of the souvenirs and things that, “you can’t get anywhere else, so we gotta get this while we get a good deal. I’m looking at you magic carpets and bottles of wine.
Then there are the hurdles that many Military Spouses experience when they realize that that degree or training doesn’t quite translate in their new country (shout out to all the attorneys, medical, dental and creatives who have to get creative with staying certified and sharp). Even educators hit roadblocks as the Department of Defense Education Activity (DODEA) application and hiring process is much more complicated now than it was for my mom 20 years ago when she was teaching in Germany. Like most milspouses, I had to “reinvent” myself, and applied for jobs that weren’t necessarily in my educational field but that I certainly had the skills and aptitude and open mind to take on. But now, we’re only here for 2 years and this first year is already overshadowed by a global pandemic. So any plans of hitting the ground working are currently on hold. I considered working for the local health department since that is my thing, so we’ll see how that idea unfolds. Until then, I’ll save money, social distance and spend quality time with my toddler.
Ok, so now that I’ve gotten that out of my system (I’m all over the place right now but who isn’t), this is what I’ve come to observe in the past few months since returning to the U.S.
(DISCLAIMER: I wrote this part of the post earlier, like in February when things were still fresh and I wouldn’t forget everything).
I told my girlfriend that I was afraid of acclimating to life back in the U.S. European and Middle Eastern culture are so distinct and have a few little qualities that I don’t want to forget. For example, in Spain, we stopped for pedestrians at crosswalks and greeted each other with a cheek to cheek “air kiss”. In Bahrain, women would do the same with one another, but we also greeted each other with “salaam” or “asalaam w’alakkum” regardless of religious affiliation. In the U.S., I am shocked when people greet strangers and pedestrian crosswalks are suggestions, even if they are designated.
We do it big in the US, so one of the first things that I noted was our excess:
Too much sugar and salt: I have eaten a number of things that make my tongue wince from all the sugar and all the salt. I wasn’t ready. I’m still not ready. I could even taste the artificial ingredients in ready-made biscuits and it ruined the experience for me. So much for the dough boy.
Too many channels on TV (and only 5% are worth watching): Thank you for Netflix. I came to know and love that haven of good movies and ample TV series when we were in Spain, but I figured, since we’re paying for cable, might as well explore what’s been on the U.S. cable networks since I’ve been gone. Nope. Not a fan of anything. I still enjoy Jeopardy!, HGTV and Foodnetwork, but that’s about it. For all the money and all the channel listings, we’ve got to do better than just sports (for my husband), Jeopardy!, HGTV and Food Network people. And let’s talk commercials.
Too many pharmaceutical ads: Y’all...there are SO MANY PHARMACEUTICAL ADS it’s mind blowing. I have NEVER seen so many commercials for this pill and that cream. And when your eczema medication has blindness as a side effect, baby throw the whole bottle away! Like, why do I have to worry about diarrhea, mild hearing loss and paralysis in my left side for my migraine medication. I don’t believe I saw any prescription medication ads on the Spanish and Bahraini television networks. I saw over the counter ads, but not this mountain of ‘scription ads.
Too many pop up neighborhoods without sidewalks: Now, my little solution to all those pharmaceutical ads is, “drink plenty of water, eat clean, get ample rest and go outside for fresh air on a walk.” Unfortunately, a lot of neighborhoods abolished side walks. It’s as if communities want you to get hit by a car or just drive one. We walked everywhere in our little town in Spain and noticed the same for most European cities we visited. People walk everywhere, seniors, kids, aunties, dogs, everyone walks. But a lot of places, especially in newer communities here in the US, lack proper sidewalks. It’s a shame.
I’m not going to focus on the negative without highlighting some good things. So, here are some positives:
While I finally figured out traffic circles and I do like them, I’m grateful for the US highway and road systems.
I’m also grateful for green spaces and trees. We have a backyard and live near a golf course, as in, I see golf carts zooming by on warm, sunny days and I’m tempted to take a lone cart for a joy ride. It’s also fun to watch cardinals and other birds bounce around and I spotted a rabbit the other morning. The squirrels, though nothing shy of glorified rats with bushy tails, are still pretty cute, especially when Lavender is excited and shouting at them from inside the living room.
Diverse commercials. I’ve seen an impressive number of commercials featuring people from all walks of life, ages, races, and even commercials featuring interracial couples and blended families. Far more than what I remember 5 years ago and any other time when I would visit the U.S. in the last five years. So that’s definitely a plus for me and I’m here for it.
We’ve had visitors. So far, we’ve had one Jehovah’s Witness and a campaign canvasser knock on our door. Both were older. I’m not used to random strangers knocking on my door and the only reason I’ve answered the door is because we ordered a few things online and I have to sign for some of the items. Why is that positive? I’ll admit I’m not 100% open to the idea, and I will pretend I’m not home if I don’t expect visitors. But in those moments when I opened the door expecting the UPS person and was greeted by a neighbor, I felt welcomed and grateful to see another human being.