Welcome back to the third and final installment of my three-part breastfeeding journey. If this is your first time joining me, here’s a recap:

In Part 1 I share a little background on my nursing journey, including why I decided to breastfeed in the first place.
In Part 2, I provide few tips and tools that I used to help me with my long-term breast feeding goals.
Now, for part 3, I’m going to share with you a few of the hiccups I dealt with, including a few medical dilemmas as well as how I weaned my daughter and what I’m doing to prepare for this second round of breastfeeding with my second daughter.

Unexpected events

I knew that the journey would be difficult at times and require patience and perseverance. I figured I would get bitten at some point during the teething process (happened twice and once on a plane), and I had a feeling I would experience painful moments, like when my daughter slept through the night and my breasts were engorged and tender.

I knew about mastitis, which I watched for like a hawk and thankfully never experienced, or thrush, which I did my best to avoid by switching out my nursing pads and bras.

But other things came up. Unexpected things that no one talked about or seemed to have heard of.

Overnight letdowns while baby was asleep

Let’s talk about how bizarre it is to be asleep in the middle of the night and all of a sudden feel a let down and have to rush and get your Haaka manual breast pump to collect that liquid gold. This started happening when my daughter was sleeping more frequently through the night.

My body was used to late night feedings and would produce milk to accommodate my hungry, growing child. Interestingly enough, I didn’t need it in that moment. So I snatched up my Haaka, attached it (or them) to my breast, and got to collecting. It was a scene because I was half asleep and didn’t even get out of bed most of the time.

I had a cap for my Haaka, which meant I didn’t risk spilling anything out, and I made sure to keep an empty baby bottle or Medela Milk bag at my bed as well as a freezer pack to keep the milk cold. If this applies to you, prepare a small lunch box or mini-cooler freezer pack to keep your milk chilled overnight and get a lid for your Haaka.

Milk Fistula (from biopsy)

I had two incidents involving a clogged milk duct. And, because my mom and aunt are breast cancer survivors, in both cases, I didn’t hesitate to request an ultrasound for each.

The first clogged duct cleared after a few days of nursing and warm compresses and massaging.

But the second lasted longer than expected, so I requested a biopsy. Although I explained that I was breast feeding, the biopsy method involved an aggressive procedure where they used a long needle to collect a tissue sample. In the process of inserting the needle and extracting the sample, the physician severed a few of my milk ducts.

Once he completed the procedure, I had milk leaking out of two small incisions on the side where I had my biopsy. It was bizarre because every time I nursed or had a let down, milk would leak out of the side of my breast.

What was even more complicated was that no one seemed to know what to do to get it under control. Of course I turned to Google for answers and found only one reputable source of sound advice.

Someone suggested minor surgery to confirm the severity of the lump, but that seemed a little too drastic and required me to abruptly end my breastfeeding.

Instead of opting to proceed with both surgery AND abruptly ending my breastfeeding, I continued to nurse my daughter and monitored the situation. I had to pay attention to any infections and extreme pain in the area.

Within a week, my wounds healed, the milk stopped leaking and I was fine. I learned a valuable lesson.

Always listen to your body and instincts. Always seek a second opinion and trust that your body will heal itself.

Had I stopped in that moment, for something as minor as a milk cyst, I would have gone through several more miserable moments from unplanned weaning and possible mastitis, as my breast were still leaking milk and producing milk.

Nursing aversion while pregnant

If I had to explain the worst unexpected scenario of the three I shared, I would say THIS tops it. I had NO idea this was a thing. But sure enough, within weeks of discovering I was pregnant again, my body did this otherworldly thing where it suddenly started to reject Lavender during feedings.

I thought it was the stress of us moving since we were relocating from Spain to the US at the time and our body clocks and diets and stress levels were all over the place. I figured it would resolve itself once we got settled or back on a routine.

I was wrong.

My goal, at that point, was to at least nurse Lavender until she was 18 months old. That goal quickly changed, as I realized I could only make it for a month after we found a place to live.

The best way to describe the sensation is that my body hated the sensation of nursing. The minute Lavender latched on, my skin crawled and I felt helpless. It was one of the most uncomfortable, overwhelming sensations racing through my body. I

wanted to physically throw her off my body and had to interrupt her often to give myself a little break. I sang, recited poetry, tried to watch TV but nothing could distract me from that sensation.

It was scary, sad, depressing and bewildering. I didn’t know people went through this and, once again, I found very few resources on this topic.

I read an article that proposed it was possibly a vitamin deficiency and of course hormone imbalance. And with another baby on the way, naturally my hormones were off. I increased my vitamin intake, but no luck. The struggle was real!

Babies don’t care about your Chanel perfume and champagne toast. When it’s time to eat, it’s time to EAT!

Not so random nursing hurdles and considerations around mental health

A friend of mine shared that post-weaning depression is a thing and shouldn’t be ignored or overlooked.

While I didn’t experience it, I will say that I missed nursing my daughter at random times. It’s a beautiful, sacred and special bond that I shared with her after the I’m grateful both for this little break and time to consider when it’s time to wean my youngest.

Postpartum Depression is real and if you feel sad, anxious or have alarming and violent thoughts, please call 1-800-944-4773 or visit www.postpartum.net and their “Help For Moms” section.

I’ve heard a number of people say that breastfeeding is helpful for postpartum depression and some research suggests that long-term nursing does reduce the risk. I can say I didn’t get hit with postpartum depression, but I noticed a heightened emotional state.

And that goes back to paying attention to your body. I made it a priority to monitor triggers (fatigue, hunger, loneliness, etc.) and anything that might indicate odd behavior on my part.

Preparing for Round 2

I will breastfeed this baby for as long as I can. I don’t have an end date and time in place and I probably wouldn’t announce it if I did because I’m bound to change my mind due to any number of reasons.

I’ve heard that each baby is different and even if you had smooth sailing or a easy time with breastfeeding the first you’ll still have to be patient and train yourself for the second.

I definitely appreciate the 5 month break I had between weaning Lavender.

My plan is to use the same approach as I did last time. My only “concern” is: a) doing this with a toddler AND b) not being able to go to the in-person breastfeeding support group meetings offered at the hospital because, between the pandemic and childcare costs, I have to decide if it’s practical to attend the classes.

So, I’ll probably be doing a lot of prayer and affirmations this go round.

BONUS: On weaning

I want to share my weaning experience, which was much smoother than planned considering the circumstances.

I knew I wanted to nurse Lavender until we found a place to live and established a solid routine in the U.S. I treated nursing as a reliable constant in the ever shifting world of a military move.

I also knew I wanted to gradually pull away from nursing, and middle of the night feedings had ended by her 9th month or so. But I would often nurse her before or after a nap.

Some articles that I read suggest nursing once they wake, almost like we eat when we wake up in the morning. But I didn’t follow a formula to a “t”.

So we cut out feedings bit by bit. I did it over the course of 4 weeks, with each week being one less feeding until the final week. On the final week, I asked Chris to put Lavender to bed. I would usually read her a book, sing and nurse her to sleep. But this time, I asked Chris to read and sing her a song before putting her down.

I set my final date to February 29th (thank you leap year for the extra time) and actually told Lavender what was going to happen, explaining it to her like she was 4 and not 14 months.

But, call me superstitious, I’m sure it helped. So, on March 1st not only did I start a new month, but I didn’t breastfeed my child, I didn’t have any let down or engorgement issues, and Lavender didn’t miss a beat. I am grateful.

She ate her meals, drank her water, and carried on. Only once or twice did she sniff around or pull at my shirt, but she didn’t make a fuss when I told her “no” and redirected her to reading together or a snack or some other activity to help.

Well, that’s it. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

My goal in sharing my journey is to be transparent and encourage you to know that despite how difficult this can be, it’s possible and honestly worth it. I’m grateful for the opportunity to nurse my daughter and the community and encouragement I received throughout my journey.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to do it again for baby 2 and hope that my commitment will contribute to the normalization of something that is honestly natural and beautiful.

Nursing Journey Pt. 3: Roadblocks, Weaning and Breastfeeding Take 2