When I found out we were pregnant again, I was so excited. Not going to lie.

I had hoped to have another child within 1 year of Lavender’s birth.

I figured they’d be close in age and I’d have my two children by the age of 35, which is how old I’ll be in November.

But, of course, everything is different this time around. For starters, I’m pregnant during a global pandemic. Definitely didn’t see that in the cards.

So, while I was hoping for the joy of visiting and hosting friends and family this time around, all of those dreams were dashed by March.

Second, my energy is devoted to taking care of my toddler. So, the novelty of pregnancy that I experienced with Lavender is not as strong. Sure I still delight in the little movements and hiccups in utero. And baby girl is nice and active. But I was more focused on Lavender and her development and minimizing my anxiety (read: no TV or news) the first two trimesters.

And that’s important for me, because I had severe anxiety with Lavender to the point where I couldn’t be as excited as I wanted to be for the first six months because of my miscarriage from my first pregnancy.

So, I was a little too distracted this pregnancy to worry about what could go wrong.

I’m going to be real. I honestly don’t know WHAT we’re going to do differently because I still can’t wrap my head around having two kids under the age of two.

The closer we get to the due date, the more surreal it is. And Chris and I look at each other with a hint of shock at the reality to come.

We’re going to have a toddler and a newborn under one roof. And there’s still a pandemic. So, even if I wanted to socialize at a playdate, or take Lavender to an hourly care daycare center to get a few things done around the house and help with her socializing, local daycares are either starting to shut down or restrict care.

I will lean in to the advice of my family, who threw me a surprise virtual baby shower during one of our Saturday Bible Study days.

I received a lot of advice from aunts, uncles and cousins, and of course my parents. But My granny, who once had 3 toddlers at once, is the OG. Which means every time I get anxious, frustrated, sad, overwhelmed, etc.

I’ll think back to my granny, who had chiren in the ‘60’s, when the internet and computers and social media resources didn’t exist and when all of her friends were still in high school and couldn’t relate, because she was a teenage mother, when her own mother was domestic help for white families.

And, if she could do it in that day and age, then I can do it now. I’ll be real and give myself permission to acknowledge my moods and feelings and worries, but I’m going to sit with and study my affirmations, pray and celebrate the blessings of life in my two babies, and rejoice in the lessons that I will learn.

Some key tips I received:

Love your children unconditionally and don’t compare them to each other.
Don’t talk about or compare your children to each other. They’re different and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Help the older child adjust to the younger by incorporating them in early. For example, hold the oldest and let him or her hold the baby while helping to bottle feed.
This too shall pass, kids grow up fast so whatever hiccups and headaches you experience, you’re not alone.
Spoil your kids, love up on them.
Provide discipline and guidance. Don’t censor or prevent them from expressing their true selves. And don’t let them get out of hand and run your house or try to rule you. They need guidance and discipline.

Here are a few things we’re doing (differently) in preparation for baby #2:

REST UP: I was SO tired and in SO MUCH pain the last few weeks before Lavender was born. Misery was my name. This time around, I’m squeezing in more naps and doing what I can to rest better than the first go round.
INTUITION: I read any and everything and went to all of the prenatal classes with my last pregnancy. Well, not so much this time. Since this isn’t my first rodeo, I haven’t been reading a lot of books and COVID-19 makes it impossible to attend any in-person classes. But I remember a lot of things and every so often I’ll read and reference my books. I mostly look at my Baby Centre App.
EXERCISE: Sadly, I haven’t been doing much in the area of working out. With Lavender, I walked a lot and did yoga with my girl Kay. But, alas, not this go round. I plan on doing a few of those little YouTube videos on squats and stretches at least to get my body in order and I’ll continue to go for walks in the cooler hours. But I doubt I’ll over do it.
NESTING: I washed everything, set up all our little baby equipment (bassinet, baby swing, etc.( and, thanks to my in-laws, have meals for days and a clean garage ready for our post-partum fitness space.
PHOTOS: Welp...I definitely haven’t been taking and post many pregnancy pictures. This poor baby is going to look at me with confusion when she sees that her sister has a bump photo for every week and she only has one or two per trimester.
Of course I can always say “‘Rona made me do it!” but honestly, where was my energy? Thankfully, I found a photographer at the last minute to squeeze in some maternity and newborn photos. I almost didn’t do it, but realized I wanted this baby to have maternity pictures like Lavi.
TRUSTING THE ALMIGHTY AND MY BODY: Similar to “Intuition” above, I’m trusting my body to know what to do and trusting my baby as well. I’m trusting that this labor and delivery experience will be exactly what it is supposed to be and that I will connect, center and celebrate the beauty and strength of my being as I co-labor with The Almighty to bring forth the Life that I was Chosen to guide into this world.
EAT UP: The other day I had the sensation that I needed to eat a big meal like I did when Chris and I ran a half-marathon. We ate a delicious Italian dinner the night before our race and I got the sense that I would be wise to do the same the days leading up to my due date. I also have a snack bag packed, in case I don’t opt (or labor too fast) for an epidural.
PACK LIGHT: With Lavender, I stayed in the hospital for well over 48hrs post delivery and barely touched my overnight bag. I packed a lot of things that I never really used. I almost did the same thing when I had a reality check. So, my bag has less than what I initially packed, and I am glad, since we’ll probably only be in the hospital for 24hrs post delivery.

And on that note, I’m going to close out by highlighting a few things I’m including in my hospital bag and will include a future post about my newborn essentials. Also, I’m sure I’ll revise or post a follow up to this article since we don’t know what we don’t know and will learn some things to add on this list.

A nursing friendly gown (courtesy of the Mom Frida hospital kit)
Socks (courtesy of the Mom Frida hospital kit)
Essential Oils
My journal for my baby. I’ve been writing her letters every week for the past few months. Plus I read that the hospital will do footprints in the journal if I want (heart emoji!).
A picture of Lavender and a coloring paper from Lavender
My water bottle so I can have ice cold water.
A comfy robe (Posh Peanut)
Baby girl’s coming home outfit
Labor and Delivery Affirmation Cards
My phone, charger and wireless headphones
My Kodak Insta-Pic camera to take pictures of the baby
Toiletries (soap, toothbrush/paste, mango butter, hair spray/conditioner, deodorant) & hair bonnet

Parenthood 2.0 - How We're Preparing for Round Two