Nursing Journey Pt. 1: Breastfeeding Background
Meal time during a photo shoot
Let’s talk about breast...feeding! Ok, so I’ve been wanting to talk about my breastfeeding journey for a little minute, especially since achieving the grand milestone of weaning my daughter after 15 months (back in November).
Before I go on, I want to emphasize that FED IS BEST. So this is not a self-righteous post where I dismiss anyone who feeds their babies formula nor am I here to look down on anyone who stopped before whatever time people suggest you finish nursing. None of that. This is my story.
I’m sharing this because I was encouraged by the women who went before me and want to pay it forward in some way.
BENEFITS
In addition to increased bonding and fortifying your newborn babies immune system, breastfeeding offers the following benefits:
Free food for your baby
Restoring and healing the uterus, helping it return to pre-pregnancy size quickly
Protects against allergies and eczema
Reduce risk of virus, UTI, irritable bowel syndrome, ear and respiratory infections
Lessens risk of SIDS
Lowers risk of breast and ovarian cancer
Lowers risk of osteoporosis
Delays menstruation, resulting in a natural birth control (of course this depends on the person)
MY WHY
I was 15 the first time I saw anyone nursing a baby in person. I was in California and my Aunt Jan, who I greatly admire, was nursing my youngest cousin. That was before all the major visibility and talk that we’ve been hearing in recent years.
I was intrigued and ever the inquisitive person, I probably asked my aunt a litany of questions about what she was doing, what it was like, why she opted . She, a labor and delivery nurse, knew the science and broke it down for me.
I doubt she spared any details about the pain and discomfort, but I didn’t care. I greatly respected and admired her and in that moment, she was doing something that made perfect sense in my teenage brain.
Fast Forward 10 years later when Chris and I lived in Kennewick, WA and I had reconnected with my cousin Tanisha. She lived in California at the time and we were catching up on life since we last saw each other in New York some 15 years prior.
The mother of an infant, Tanisha broke down all the details surrounding her nursing experience. Again, I was intrigued. By this point, breast feeding had become a buzzword in mainstream and public health circles.
I’d been exposed to it in Grad School, and knew the multitude of benefits. But, other than my aunt, I didn’t personally know anyone else who had embarked on the journey, let alone anyone else my age. Tanisha’s transparency, my Aunt’s example and the abundance of public health and naturopathic evidence swirling in my head solidified my decision to try nursing my child(ren) whenever that day would come.
Family first
One more, because between my aunt’s example and my cousin’s story lies a painful revelation of American history. Once upon a time, during slavery, black women were required to be wet nurses for the wives of slave masters and overseers.
What does that mean?, you ask.
It means that white mothers were appalled or discouraged from breastfeeding, relegating it to something that animals and lower stationed people did. But of course, there was no formula back then.
They also noticed that the infants of black women were “heartier” and lived longer, despite the horrible conditions of enslavement so, they deduced that it must be something in the milk.
Therefore, enslaved Black women were required to breastfeed newborn white babies. And in order to be able to nurse on call, these women were new mothers themselves.
Which meant, their babies were often neglected, sacrificed, literally and figuratively for the sake of ensuring the health of white babies.
There are accounts of black mothers having to leave their wailing, hungry babies to starve in order to supply the slave master’s child with their milk. And this coming from a system that treated enslaved africans as less than humans.
It baffles me that anyone would let their child nurse at the breast of a person they considered less than human.
But knowing what I know, I chose and choose to breastfeed my babies for the lives of the mothers who were denied the gift of nourishing their own.
IN THE BEGINNING
Eight years later, at 33 years old, I had my first child and found myself in the same boat as many first-time moms who choose to breastfeed; frustrated, confused and in pain.
Let me take a time leap back to the day when Lavender was born. I had heard about this beautiful practice called the “Breast Crawl” where a newborn is allowed to instinctively crawl to their mom’s nipple to nurse for the first time.
Well, Lavender did just that when placed on my stomach and I fell apart in tears and laughter. So I thought, “oh we got this, it’s going to be like this moving forward.”
Nah, nope, never-mind, sike!
Our first few weeks were a struggle and I remember being so confused and in so much pain. For starters, I didn’t think my child was getting enough milk.
Those first few feedings contain colostrum, the power pack of nutrients and immune building ingredients that help baby ward off illness. But I couldn’t tell if she was actually getting anything or if I was producing milk at all.
And we were both learning. Sure she did that precious breast crawl, but that didn’t mean she knew what was actually going on or that she’d be a pro for every feeding.
There was pain, bleeding, engorgement, milk-saturated clothes, fatigue, hunger, cluster feeds, sore back from sitting in awkward positions for long hours throughout the day and night.
I thought it would be like rainbows and butterflies and the occasional singing unicorn.
In-flight meal service
Thankfully I wasn’t alone and had support from the Rota Breastfeeding Support group and I made it my priority to attend as many of their monthly meetings as possible.
We also had a visiting nurse program, featuring a nurse who came by and helped in-person with judgement free tips on how to improve things like latching and engorgement pain.
I’m hoping to find something similar now that I’m back in the U.S. and pregnant with our second, who I plan to breastfeed.
And I’ll update or write a second post in due season to share what it’s like to do this multiple times with multiple children since no two children nor breastfeeding experience is the same.
NURSING ABROAD
Right before another photo shoot
Let me point out that I had the fortune of nursing my baby in Spain, a country and culture that celebrates children and doesn’t stigmatize nursing moms or nipples - (no nipple ninjas there).
Listen, when you can easily see topless women at the beach in the summer and no one bats an eye, you can expect that people don’t get hypersensitive to breasts and breastfeeding. Breasts are functional.
Also, the idea of covering nursing children in public spaces is frowned upon because, “you’ll suffocate your child,” says the abuelas. So you can expect other women to encourage you to not only nurse, but nurse publicly and without second thought.
They also have fabulous nursing spaces in museums, malls, and other public spaces. So THAT was a treat that I didn’t take for granted.
Needless to say, what I’m about to share in this series not restricted to nursing moms living in Spain. You take and apply what you can.
**Disclaimer** I can only speak to my experience. I am not a certified lactation consultant nor a medical provider. So please consult with professionals and experts if you are or plan on nursing your child. I’ll note additional resources and links at the end of this post.
Also, this series is not going to be a breastfeeding vent, doom and gloom session. My hope is to provide insight and encouragement to those considering or currently nursing their child.
In Part 2, I’ll delve into further details, like tips and tools that have helped me and other nursing moms navigate our respective journeys.