On January 21st, 2015, we boarded a flight at middle-of-night o’clock en route to the land of two seas. Bahrain is the first country, outside of the U.S., that we lived in as husband and wife. Then, after two years of living the life in the Sand Castle, we got an opportunity to move to SoSpa. I’ve wanted to live in Spain for years. In college, I reviewed study abroad options in Spain but that Pre-Med life put that on hold. Later I told Chris that I wanted to move to Spain, teach English and have “Spanish Babies!” But Chris and I were broke graduate students without international job prospects and he talked a little patience into me.

So, in June of 2016, when Chris forwarded me the email he received asking if he wanted to move to Spain for his next assignment, I immediately called him and exclaimed, “Yes! Yes we do. We don’t need to think about it, we do!” Can you tell how excited I was? Six months later, we were on our flight from Manama, Bahrain to Rota, Spain.

Five years, two countries and a baby later we’re returning to the U.S. , North Carolina (c’mon and raise up!) to be exact. I shared about what I’ll miss about living in Spain. Now, I’m going to share what excites and concerns me the most about returning to the U.S.

In no particular order:

Trader Joe’s

Some people say they’re excited to return to the U.S. because #Target. Other people say Starbucks or Chipotle. I say Trader Joe’s. Why? Well, I HATE grocery shopping. My husband saved my cholesterol and bank account because, if it weren’t for him, I would probably order take-out or eat out at restaurants for 90% my meals. I don’t like how busy and overwhelming grocery stores are. And a lot of them are boring to me. Have you ever noticed that most of them don’t have windows? Feels kinda like a trap to me. Then enters Trader Joe’s (cue a heavenly chorus). I don’t know what it is about that quirky, little grocery store, but I could work there, I love it so much. Except, my whole paycheck might disappear from all the purchases. I just love how unique and affordable their items are. So, I’m really looking forward to returning to the U.S. so I can spend time chatting it up with the person at the coffee and sample bar before checking out the cheeses, trail mix and “item of the week!”

Proximity to family and loved ones

This is a given. We’ve been out of the U.S. for a good 5 years and have been fortunate to host friends and family over that time. That said, I’m looking forward to being back in the States so we can see parents (grandparents), siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins and friends. I’m excited about spending holidays with family or even hosting people at our place for meals and game nights.

We’ve missed a lot of milestones (weddings, babies, etc.) and family reunions . We have a lot of catching up to do, so I hope we can get reconnected with ease. Being away changes you, which isn’t bad.

Domestic exploration and travels

We’re probably not going to #seethworld as much while in the States, but little road trips and domestic exploration are on the list. I’m looking forward to exploring our new town, visiting neighboring states and spending holidays in the country. I know we’ll get out to different parts of North Carolina, probably visit Charleston, Savannah and New Orleans if only because they have Spanish Moss and I love Spanish Moss on Oak trees.

Employment

Employment isn’t always easy when overseas. There are a few jobs, but not everyone can work in their professional field. I know of plenty of women who are attorneys, physicians, nurses, etc. who run into roadblocks with this. Some get creative, and others sell products (raises hand) or reinvent themselves. I worked as a financial manager (Budget Officer) in Bahrain and in the Chapel (Director of Religious Education) in Spain. Not one of them relates directly to Public Health BUT, I have soft and hard skills from previous jobs and my educational background that made it possible for me to excel at what I did. However, I’m looking forward to the possibility of finding work in my field of expertise (or maybe doing something totally different).

Phone calls and bills

My phone bill has been a monster the last 3 years. Google Fi is great if you live in the U.S. and travel often for work (or leisure). But when you live abroad, you pay ridiculous gobs of cash for data and phone calls. So I’m looking forward to a good, economical phone plan. I could have gone with a Spanish line and paid like 10 Euro, but I kept a U.S. number for when doing business with U.S. companies and so that my family didn’t have to fork out money on international fees. Of course, WhatsApp was a Godsend in Bahrain and Spain. Who knows, I may stick with Google Fi, but I also might buy a flip phone and pre-load my minutes and data.

Good eating

I’d be remiss if I neglected to point out how excited I am to return to a lot of good food options. While my goal is to step up my game and cook more, I’m looking forward to mouth watering food and southern cooking at its finest.

Time zone

When we lived in Bahrain, we were 8hrs ahead of the East coast, 11 hrs ahead of the West coast. In Spain, we’re 6hrs ahead of the East coast and 9hrs ahead of the West coast. I’m looking forward to being on the same continent with the businesses and people that I interact with. I don’t want to be calling folks at 9pm just so that I can clear up a transaction on my account or schedule chit chats with girlfriends because we’re so many time zones apart.

Watching sports

Can't leave Chris out. He's looking forward to watching games at a reasonable hour and in real time. We’ve gotten up or stayed up until 3am for some Super Bowl games. Won’t be doing that this year when the Seahawks go to the Super Bowl and win! #GoHawks

So, there’s a lot to celebrate and look forward to on this return to the land of my birth. But, I have to keep it 100. Because while I”m good at wearing rose colored glasses, I'm not excited about…

Lack of Community

I’ve heard several people comment on how moving back to the U.S. is lonely. Sure, you’re back in a place where your creature comforts and language is all around. But when you live away, you’re “forced” or have better luck with finding a community of fellow (insert your country here). It’s true. When we lived in Washington, I wasn’t interested in going to all of the military events or being on base a lot. I figured my husband had his work, I had mine, and I didn’t want to be “that MilSpouse” who decides that her life revolves around the Military life. But here in Spain and back in Bahrain, not only did I seek friendships and community with other Mil and GovSpouses, I also sought relationships with the host nation community. Something about being away invites you to let down your guard and get from behind the fences. I’m not looking forward to returning to a place where it’s a struggle to connect and build community. BUT, I’m going to give NC the benefit of the doubt and anticipate a little Southern Hospitality in our small town. I’ll let you know how it goes!

Reverse Culture Shock

I’m not looking forward to reverse culture shock. I didn’t realize I was home sick until my first birthday (the big 30!) in Bahrain when I was missing my family. I’m usually good at being away and don’t normally get “home sick,” but that year was different. Praise God my parents and in-laws came to visit, making our first holiday away from home bearable. And by the time we moved to Spain, I really missed my little Sandcastle. I would try to pick out the similarities between Spain and Bahrain, from the fact that they both rhyme to the way Flamenco and Call to Prayer have similar wailing to siesta hours and the historic fingerprint of Muslim culture on Andalusia. But now I’m going to miss Spain, the festivals and holidays (Feria, Semana Santa, 3 Kings Day, Christmas, etc.) and its little ways. Fortunately, we’re moving to a town with a “slower” pace of life, versus San Diego or D.C. where I used to live and remember doing sprints to catch my metro ride home.

Weather

As I mentioned in the first post, we’ve been spoiled by great weather. Bahrain was unbearably hot in the summer, but you get used to it. With the exception of haboobs (sand storms) and Levante winds (strong winds here in southern Spain) we haven’t dealt with a lot of crappy weather. We’re moving to North Carolina where Hurricanes are a real thing and flooding too. I’m not looking forward to all of that. BUT I do like a summer rainstorm and look forward to that romantic thunderclap and the dance of lightning across a dark, grey sky.

Constant negativity

We’ve had access to U.S. news media outlets both here and in Bahrain. I’m aware of things that are posted on social media too. But apparently, it’s nothing compared to what you see, hear and experience while in the U.S. I’ve had a number of friends tell me just how negative it can be. And while I know life is all about perspective and attitude, where there’s smoke, I believe there is also fire So, I’m not excited about the toxic environment, and especially during the upcoming election year.

Childcare and the like

Childcare is SO AFFORDABLE here in Spain ($10/HR). I’ve been fortunate to put Lavender in hourly care to give her social interaction with other toddlers while also giving me time to prepare for our move. I’m not looking forward to the cost of any childcare options when we move Stateside and I start back working.

Spanish people LOVE babies. It’s a thing. They love babies in Bahrain too. But since I became a mom in Spain, I will say that I’ve been spoiled. I posted my experience nursing in public on Instagram. But suffice it to say, I don’t feel like a social liability or scar when I take Lavender out and about. And there are a lot of babies and mommies out here, so we’ve been living the life. I don’t have to worry about folks kidnapping my child. There aren’t too many reports of people trying to hurt babies and people are so friendly, they will hold and pick up your child and I honestly don’t worry about it. Now, I first witnessed this in Bahrain with friends. And I think that helped me to appreciate the way they love babies in Spain. Meanwhile, you best believe I’m not about to let anyone touch, hold or “watch” my baby in the U.S. if I don’t know them or their grandparents. Like, it’s that serious.

Pace of life

Tranquila. That’s the word of Spain. Inshallah. That was the word of Bahrain. Both really translate to “don’t worry,” “take it easy,” “it all works itself out.” And in the U.S., depending on where you live, you’ll usually balk at that mindset. Instead it’s, “why wasn’t it done yesterday?” “Why haven’t you replied to the text/email, etc. I sent you 5 seconds ago?” “Someone needs to hire a Chick-fil a manager up in here because this line is off the chain. I’ve been waiting for 3 minutes. *&^%$!” Again, I’m grateful we’re moving to the South. I’m sure I’ll witness and probably revert back to that impatience. But I at least have two new words in my vocabulary to help me chill out.

Living while Black

I left the U.S. 5 months after launching EmbRace Healing my national campaign to travel the country and talk about and promote racial healing and reconciliation. Let me say this. Living abroad while black hasn’t been without its challenges. I’ve been in places with an anti-black, anti-African sentiment. But, because I’m from the U.S., which they find out when I talk or maybe in the manner in which I carry myself, I get “better” treatment, so to speak. I know that the madness of racial injustice didn’t stop when I left the U.S. and that things continue to be out of hand. I watch the news and I’m not excited about reentering that environment. It’s like going back to a smoke filled restaurant or house after stepping outside for fresh air. I just want to breathe.

Mass Shootings

Speaking of toxic and dangerous environments, these mass shootings are unbelievable. My family and I moved to Germany when I was 10. I remember being nervous about that move because all I knew of Germany was what I learned in the history books about WW2. So we get to Deutschland and I fall.in.LOVE! Then, on April 20th, 1999 Columbine happened and everything turned upside down; school shootings caught the attention of every major media outlet. Let’s be clear, black and brown students had been victims of school shootings for a minute, but the crickets were reporting on that. I remember watching the screen and when it was all said and done, I remember saying, “yeah, I don’t want to move back to the U.S. if folks are getting shot at school!” Since then, shootings have happened at elementary schools, churches, malls, yoga studios, grocery stores, movie theaters, airports, etc. Not too many places you can go where you’re safe from assault rifles behind angry and or imbalanced individuals. We’ve lived in two countries where it’s illegal to own or possess a firearm. So we haven’t had any incidents of mass shootings or worries about being shot at while grocery shopping or walking along the streets.

Traffic Jams

When I lived in the Puget Sound (Bremerton and Bainbridge Island, WA) I used to take a ferry and bus to work daily. When I lived in Atlanta, I used to take the bus to work daily. When I went to graduate school in D.C. I used to slug (raise your hand if you know about professional, commuter hitch hiking), take the bus and train. I’ve been in all manner of traffic jams and it makes me tired and angry. In Bahrain, we did have traffic issues. Here in Spain, at least in this part, traffic is rare if at all. We went back to the Seattle area for my sister-in-laws wedding in September/October and the traffic was ridiculous. I’m not looking forward to anything called traffic. Again, I’ve been spoiled.

Lack of safe walking and biking routes

Dear mayor of the South,

We’ve noticed that you have a fear of sidewalks and bike lanes are “the devil.” I can assure you they’re not. IN fact, they’re life saving because sidewalks allow people to safely take walks and push strollers or wheelchairs without fear of being hit by a car. Bike lanes do the same. Please reconsider your position on this matter and let us know if you’d be willing to partner on a coalition to bring safe streets to your region.

Signed,

Returning residents who appreciate long walks and fresh air

#SunsetSeries: What excites and concerns me most about returning to the U.S. (after 5 years)